


The Champion

by ShannynFaucheux



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boxing, Angst, Boxing, Boxing language?, Bruises, Cuts, Drama, Exploring Sexuality, Fighting, Growing Up, I mean ofc, Loneliness, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, Orphanage, Orphans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Philosophy, Please watch the tags as the chapters go on, Poverty, Storyline, Symbolism, Training, Travels, Very slight implication of child abuse(?) only because this story is based on real events, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-06-09 12:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19476115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShannynFaucheux/pseuds/ShannynFaucheux
Summary: ''- ..Let's do some pad-work then we finish. Try to use your body more when you throw a left upper-cut..''There was a pause, Haruya opened his eyes and saw the red-haired devil walking into the gym with steps dripping in macho etiquette, topped with a 'welter-weight champion of Aomori'  flavored megalomania..This is the story of fighting relentlessly until you start scraping the base of your nails.. This is the story of the dark alleyways, of some quiet wounds that deep inside, never seem to know how to heal,This is the story of the poorly painted walls you see before you step into the ring. This is a story of boxing.





	1. All is in sunlight, Start of the Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. aside from being a second year Japanese Lang. and Lit. student, I also do boxing. I fight in 48kgs and I am a left-handed boxer, so a southpaw.
> 
> This story, I will write based on what I go through with my training, maybe even my life.. :)  
> But for the overall story I have many inspirations.. One example could be the Philipino boxer Manny Pacquiao's early life..
> 
> I will proof read this chapter after I take my JLPT exam.. ah.. Shiki is also a southpaw btw.. :')
> 
> I hope you like it.

The Champion

Chapter One - _All is in sunlight, Start of the Journey_

It was already five'o clock in the afternoon, but the sun was still ruthless on the eighteen year old boxer's eyes. It fell and burned the young, combatant skin, seared his lungs.

  
Haruya took a deep breath in, he then hardened his guard and went in with two straight-right one left combination. Reply to his attack was _the sensei's_ straight left;

\- '' I can see your left foot up in the air when you come with a straight left. Take a step _in_ first, then hit it- '' Sensei explained as they danced in the ring. Haruya nodded.

He then tried again, this time earning himself a long ' _good_ ', coming from the sensei. He swung a short-right hook, stepping parallel, and let sensei's straight punch fall aimless.

_It was almost like the sun was becoming heavier with every second passing._ It creeped out from the worn roof of this old gym, and reflected Haruya's movements onto the ring floor in brisk shadows.

Sensei went all in after that, getting smaller and pressing with dangerous - _oh so dangerous_ \- liver and body punches. Haruya gritted his teeth and slipped _the press_ as much as he could; He shot a short left upper-cut, it was the right choice, but it fell on sensei's guard.

They were finished. Sensei let his guard drop and nodded; ''- Good, breathe. ''

Haruya didn't drop his own guard, but _gladly_ did what he was told as his steps backed him to the corner of the ring. It was after then his arms gave up and his gloved hands dropped.

  
He closed his eyes for a second, but his ear was at sensei's words all the time;

''- Let's do some pad-work then we finish. Try to use your body more when you use left upper-cut- ''

  
There was a pause, Haruya opened his eyes and saw the _red-haired devil_ walking into the gym with steps _dripping in macho etiquette, topped with a 'welter-weight champion of Aomori' flavored megalomania._

He lifted his right hand in greeting; ''- Oi, sensei, what's up? ''

  
''- Where were you yesterday? I told you to rest _for a day_ , not two days. '' Sensei put the pads back and stepped outside the ring . He stopped the-red haired one's _likely-bullshit_ explanation with a finger raised up, then flicked a slap to back of his head;

  
''- Don't get ahead of yourself. Go do _Haru's_ pad-work with him '' He then walked and sat onto one of the seats lining in four.

_The nineteen year old champion,_ Akabayashi Mizuki, sighed in apparent reluctance and looked at Haruya's skew, _still heavily breathing_ , thin figure;

''- What if I touch him accidentally. I mean, _look at him_ sensei. '' But he dropped his grimy looking gym bag and walked to take the pads regardless.

  
''- Do as I say, don't tire this old man '' Sensei said, trying to _seduce_ his own breath back into his aged lungs.

  
  
Haruya chose not to say anything and prepared his guard. Both fighters walked into the middle of the ring, Mizuki lifted the right pad, Haruya shot a left-straight.

''- Right, left, right- '' Mizuki guided the movements, then asked; ''- I heard you were fighting your second amateur fight in light-flyweight. How much do you weigh? ''

  
''- 47 '' The other answered without taking his eyes away from the pads. _Right,left,right._ Then step. Right, left, right.

  
''- How the fuck did you get into the fight then when the minimum is 49- '' Mizuki asked, then dictated the next combination; '' Right, left, right-hook, left ''

When the other hit the right-hook, Mizuki _actually_ felt it's momentum. He had to give credit, while his lefts were crap, he was _decent_ in right-punches.

The combination went three more times, then Mizuki stopped; ''- Breathe, and? '', he waited for the answer to his previous question.

''- _I put metal coins into my pockets at the weigh-in_ ''

Mizuki was preparing to leave the ring when he heard the answer; From the ring ropes, he jerked his head to the other's direction and came face to face with two _feral_ orbs looking at him in sweat and _fixity_ dripped in a clever smirk.

_He had to give credit, in all this poverty, without a mother or a father, the boy was good at relentlessly scraping the limits to the base of his nails especially when it came to boxing._

Mizuki turned his head away and hid a smile; ''- Good luck then '' 


	2. The Myth of Sisyphus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Phoenix: Is a mythological bird. When the phoenix dies, it bursts into flames and reborns from it's own ashes. It is the symbol of renewal and rebirth..
> 
> Aegir: Aegir is the God of the sea in Norse mythology.

Chapter Two; _Red and Blue / The Tale of Aegir and the Phoenix_

Squeaky sounds from the redhead’s trainers echoed throughout the gym as he side-stepped and continued shadow-boxing with a right-straight punch. He then took two steps in, and press boxed his imaginary opponent.

He didn’t hear the main door being opened as he was focused, but then catched the sensei saying; ‘’- Don’t jump for the punch, you will get punched like that ‘’ So he tried again, this time press-boxing with more controlled right hooks and left straights.

‘’- Has Shiki-kun left? ‘’ He asked in between punches and got a ‘yes’ from the sensei.

After twenty-minutes of shadow-boxing, he paced inside the ring and re-adjusted his breathing before getting down to the ring floor to do push-ups. He was at the thirtieth push-up when Sensei came by the ring-ropes and patted a hand onto the floor;

-‘’ Oi, Mizuki. Listen for a second, I have something to talk ‘’  
-‘’ Alright ‘’ The champion straightened from the push up and sat with his legs dangling from the ring. He rested his arms on the ring-ropes.

The sensei seemed to be flicking the dust off from the leather-pads as he put together the matter he wanted to talk to the kid about;

‘’ - You know, Haruya turned eighteen last week, right? ‘’ On that, the red-head nodded. Sensei continued; ‘’- So seems like the orpanage gave him a week for him to find himself a place to stay. I told him to come and stay with us for some time, my wife is not against it either but- ‘’ He put the pads to the side and looked at the young boxer;

He swirled his hand in the air and walked to get a towel; ‘’- You know the pride of an orphan. I couldn’t convince him, he said he didn’t want to be a burden on us- ‘’ He then came to the main point and extended the towel to the boxer;

‘’- What I am saying is; You two have been boxing together for two years, maybe you don’t like each other as much, but you do have a history together. Why don’t you talk to him for me? ‘’

Mizuki dried his neck and arms; Once being told to do something, it would be inappropriate to not do as Sensei asked. Besides, as much as Mizuki didn’t like to deal with the other’s ‘ _attitude_ ’, there was no harm in this.

By attitude we mean, _coldness_ , _pride_ , and _insurmountable stubbornness_. Which, inside the ring, were great tools to pick yourself up after getting knocked-down. But maybe not as great of tools when life deliberately tried to knock you down, and you needed people on your side.

He started unwrapping the blue-wrapping on his right hand; ‘’- Of course ‘’

Ch 2.1; The Myth of Sisyphus

The dark was descending onto the city; Now these were the hours where the streetlights wouldn’t be lit yet, but the sun would be gone and everything would be a little gray. An industrial silence was fallen onto the narrow streets; Haruya has been doing his regular thirty minute run on the way to the orphanage. The orphanage was at the desolate fields of the city, away from the society as much as possible. Haruya learned not to mind the details tied to that little fact, as years passed.

A nicely-aged lady in her floral dress was waiting with a bread basket in front of her bakery/shop where she sold candy, drinks, fireworks and all sorts of stuff. She waved her hand when she saw the young man doing his usual run.

Haruya bowed to her when he arrived in front of the bakery; ‘’- Good evening, Natsumi-san ‘’

The conversation was somehow always the same. Natsumi extended the basket to Haruya; ‘’- These are melon-pan and choko-pan from the morning. Please bring them to others ‘’ As Haruya nodded and once again bowed, she ruffled his hair and put a hand onto his shoulder;

‘’- I want you to eat too, okay? You seem like you’re working hard on your training ‘’ Haruya didn’t lift his face as he answered;

‘’- Yes, I am Natsumi-san. Thank you as always ‘’ He said and added; ‘’- I’ll bring your basket in the morning ‘’

With that, the peaceful smell of melon-pan inside his nose, he started climbing the hill where the gates of the orphanage were standing in all it’s dark-fallen glory.

* * *

Before he could find the headmistress to let her know that he was back, four familiar children ran up to him. Haruya smiled; he put the basket to his side and got onto his one knee to catch the energetic hug from the two twins; Mairu and Kururi. He also saw that their ten year old brother Izaya, and the brown haired boy Shizuo, were arguing while walking towards them.

He sent them a look, which immediately made them stop arguing. He then called them to his side; ‘’- What’s going on, why are you arguing? ‘’

Shizuo’s brows were knotted, he crossed his arms on his chest and answered; ‘’- Izaya is talking stupid, as always ‘’

Izaya gave him an arrogant turn of head; ‘’- Shizu-chan just doesn’t want to hear about the truth.. ‘’

Haruya looked at them; ‘’- What truth? ‘’ His question made the two children send uncomfortable looks at each other. Then Shizuo spoke, escaping his honey-brown eyes from him;

‘’- _That you are going to leave this place, and us_ ‘’

A certain silence extended to the sky on top of them. Haruya looked at the sky, then held the bread-basket in front of the faces of the children; ‘’- It’s getting dark. Let’s eat first, then we’ll talk ‘’

As the kids ate their melon-pan, Haruya massaged the muscles on his left arm. Sometimes it really felt like his entire body was going to crumble into glass-like pieces. But Haruya didn’t mind, _he needed to be a champion_. Then he was going to start earning some money, and-

His resolute line of thoughts were cut as he and the headmistress’ eyes met. The two managed a wordless conversation right there; _‘ Talk to them ‘_ She said.

The headmistress, Nura Mitsukuni, was a kind woman. She was assigned to duty in Aomori _after the unspeakable scandal that the previous headmaster caused two years ago._ Haruya respected her, _but trust has long left being a word in his dictionary after the happenings two years ago._

Haruya turned his head to his right and looked at a flat-rock forever standing there; No longer there was an innocent girl with long black hair and a sky-blue dress. Haruya brought her face in front of the eyes of his mind, and enshrined the memory of her quietly.

After that, he turned to the children whom were finished eating; ‘’- Let’s go inside then ‘’ Taking the basket back to his arm, he stood up and they walked to the white-gray painted building.

* * *

He stood by the door, his hands were connected on his chest as the twins sat to their bunkbed, Shizuo and Izaya sat to the bunkbed opposite. He then walked inside, the parquet floor gave out couple creaky sounds, and he sat onto the floor. He didn’t want to drag the matter long;

‘’- You know, I am eighteen now right?- ‘’ The kids nodded in hesitance ‘’- Yeah so, the thing is, the government is not supposed to take care of you after an age.. and that’s eighteen ‘’

His eye catched onto a _blue lint_ sticked onto his hand. It must have followed him from the gym to the orphanage, he sweeped it away. When he lifted his head once again to look at the children, he saw that all of them were on a different verge of crying; For example, Shizuo would lower his head and would hide his tears in his hair, Izaya would intently stare at whoever was making him cry, Mairu would hold onto her sister..

All of them would cry quietly though, including him. _You wouldn’t know if you didn’t look_.

Haruya bit the side of his bottom lip and stopped a curse word right on his tongue; Maybe it would have been better if he took the explanation slowly; ‘’- Look I am not going anywhere. I am still in Aomori.. just.. in the city, I guess- ‘’ If he were to be honest, he didn’t exactly know where he was going to end up.

The ten year old’s eyes seemed slightly reddish under the dim light of the room; ‘’- So that means you have a house, Haru-nii? ‘’

The boxer put a tight smile on his lips; ‘’- Yeah I am working on that, Izaya ‘’ But he knew the curiousity of that child wasn’t going to let the question go with a vague answer like that one;

-‘’ So they are throwing you out? ‘’  
-‘’ Let’s not say it like that, alright? They did take care of me for all these years ‘’  
-‘’ But you have to go just like that. Without a temporary home maybe, for the time you _obviously_ need to find yourself a place to stay ‘’

Haruya sighed and rubbed his eyes; ‘’- Yeah but you know they give us a certain allowance until we’re twenty ‘’

‘’- I don’t think that is nearly enough for an apartment, or even a room Haru-nii’’ Was the boy’s answer. Kururi opened her eyes bigger and nodded on that. Shizuo has been silent, he simply stood up to get out of the room.

_‘ fuck’s sake..’_ Haruya whispered quietly and catched the brown haired child by raising an arm onto his chest; ‘’- Where are you going? ‘’ He asked.

The boy’s fists were small but they were fists and showed the intense emotion regardless; ‘’- So you’re leaving us. I just needed to hear that, nothing else ‘’ He answered flatly.

Haruya’s brows furrowed, he pulled the child to himself and hugged him. He looked at the rest of the children inside the room as he spoke; ‘’- I am leaving the orphanage, not you. _Never-_ ‘’;

‘’- Listen to me, we’re not given any chances, _people call us ‘throw-away children_ ’- ‘’ On those words, the raven haired boy’s fists were curled a little too, but he listened to his _brother_ ; ‘’- But if you think that’s going to stop me from _living_ , you’re wrong. ‘’ He then asked;

-‘’ What do I always say, Izaya? ‘’ The boy in question lowered his head and replied quietly;  
-‘’ _You write your own fate_ ‘’

_You write your own fate._ Haruya nodded; ‘’- Exactly ‘’ The boy on his chest lifted himself and sat onto his knees and brushed his tears away. Haruya was faced with two angry orbs then. They weren’t angry at him, though. Haruya would rather want _that_ instead of hearing the next thing the boy said;

_‘’- How is it fair that our pencils were taken away before we could even write our own fate, Haruya- nii-san? ‘’_

Haruya looked at him. Something knotted back in his throat, he didn’t let it show. He was too tired to cry, he did brush away something of a tear though, and smiled; ‘’- I never said anything was fair, Shizuo. I am just telling you- ‘’

He held the boy’s fists and stared inside his eyes, hard, like he was to face an opponent. That day, Shizuo learned to look at unjustice just like that;

‘’ – I am just telling you that you have these hands, and only that. Do you understand? ‘’

Shizuo nodded. The next thing, Izaya entered the conversation;

‘’- So we hold onto hope. Hold onto something that is not tangible, that in the end, we can’t actually hold- ‘’ After his know-it-all sentence, Izaya looked at the ticking clock, then hopped down from the bed and walked to the drawer. He took out five books; ‘’- It’s reading time right, nii-san? We have an hour before the dinner time- ‘’ He extended the elementary grade books to his sisters, and one copy of the _‘ The Happy Prince ‘_ to Shizuo.

‘’- Yeah I almost forgot. Did I leave my book here?- ‘’ Haruya took the book Izaya extended to him afterwards. It was the Japanese translation of the _‘ The Myth of Sisyphus ‘_ by Albert Camus. Haruya took the hand-made bookmark out, then asked; ‘’- What are you reading, Izaya? ‘’

-‘’ I am reading _‘ The happy prince ‘_ too, since Shizu-chan is too stupid to understand the book on his own ‘’  
-‘’ Shut up ‘’ Shizuo sent an elbow to the other and opened the book.

‘’- I see..’’ A silence fell into the room. Given the situation, all the minds were busy on everything but their books. Haruya gazed at the pharagraphs as today’s training surely started taking it’s toll on his muscles;

‘’ … _Yet one will never be sufficiently surprised that everyone lives as if no one ‘’knew’’_. _This is because in reality there is no experience of death_..’’ His eyes started closing after a while. He quietly drew himself to the darkness of the side of the twins’ bed, and sticked his back to the wall.

_‘’ The horror comes in reality from the mathematical aspect of the event.. ‘’_

Izaya looked at their sleeping brother, then turned to Shizuo; ‘’- Let’s let him sleep until dinner ‘’ The other agreed.

.

.

‘’- Ni-san..’’ Haruya felt two light hands on his arms; ‘’- Let’s go to dinner ‘’ He gruntled and okay and immediately regretted sleeping like that. 

* * *

Ch 2.2; _One must imagine Sisyphus happy._

After dinner, the young boxer said goodnight to all the kids, one by one sending them to their beds. After that, he went to his own room.

He held his stomach; He’s been having hard time keeping down the food. Not because it was bad, it was always well thought and nicely prepared. _Haruya blamed tiredness._

He went to the chair of his writing table, then re-opened _‘The Myth of Sisyphus’_. Massaging his forehead, he tried to read it for some time, then gave up and taking a pencil, he flipped the book until he reached the all-blank end page. He started calculating the expenses of a house, of living in the city. Then wrote down what he gained from the little jobs he did here and there. Finally, added the allowance from the government to the list.

He sighed and looked at the numbers and crumbled Kanji on the paper; _Sartre would call this a nausea. Camus would stand up and object, ‘ this is the absurd ‘ he would say. Haruya just called it misery._

Still rubbing his stomach, the young man practically threw himself to the bed, and slept with his face against the wall.

* * *

**The Next Day** ;

The red devil was sitting at the edge of the ring when Haruya walked into the makeshift gym; ‘’- Sensei had to go to the other kids’ training. You’re kinda stuck with me today ‘’

Haruya nodded. Sensei was working for the government funded Aomori Boxing Club. The club was new, wasn’t free and the sensei was taking a salary from the government for being a instructor in it. Haruya and Mizuki on the other hand, were his stray students whom he saw the talent in them, and decided to train for free in this now unused gym.

‘’- Let’s start with warm-ups and then we do shadow boxing ‘’ Mizuki offered. They did the warm ups facing each other, learned movements flowing like reflections on mirror. Mizuki decided it was best to bring up _the matter_ after today’s training was over.

As he was doing his shadow boxing, he also had to be observant of Haruya’s; ‘’- Don’t stay at one place. Move inside the ring. _I’d suggest stepping towards wherever you’re avoiding.._ ‘’ On that, Haruya lowered his arms and did couple circular and square stepping exercises inside the ring.

After a brief pad-work session, Mizuki was taking off the pads when he smirked and sent a look to the other; ‘’- Wanna do a sparring? ‘’

Haruya sniffed and took his towel from the side of his gym-bag; ‘’- I don’t think Sensei would approve that- ‘’

‘’- Well, he is not here now ‘’

In the erratic breathing pace he was in, Haruya looked at the red-devil. If he were to unsee the more than fifteen kilograms of weight difference between them, sparring would be highly beneficial for his upcoming match. So he re-wore his red gloves;

-‘’ Go easy on me, then ‘’  
-‘’ Of course. Two rounds? ‘’  
-‘’ Okay ‘’

Haruya waited at the red corner as _the champion_ prepared the timer then wore his blue gloves. He nodded, preparing his guard and walking into the middle of the ring; ‘’- Let’s go ‘’

Being the lightweight, Haruya went in first with straight punches to figure out what the other had in his sleeve. Just when he decided to finish the last straight-punch combination with a right hook, he blocked Mizuki’s right-straight and had to close his guard back.

Two minutes into the round; after falling to couple feints from Haruya, Mizuki changed his guard into a variation of a cross-armed guard. As he expected, a left-handed boxer was dangerous when he catched the liver.

Haruya hated the cross-armed guard. His brows furrowed, he threw a wide-right hook, then immediately cut the other’s lighting right-straight with his left glove. Mizuki then pressed with straight-combinations, walking against Haruya’s well-learned circular steps and drewing him towards the ropes. The timer rang.

‘’- Nice ‘’ Touching gloves, Mizuki went to the blue corner and took out his gloves to re-prepare the timer. It was during the one-minute break that Haruya realised he got hit, the bone under his right eye ached. Figuring out the reasons why he got catched were after the sparring. Now he focused on a strategy to either break the other’s cross-guard, or catch him with a right-hook, then proceed with body-punches.

The second round started with controlled straight-punches from both sides. Sensing a right time, Haruya took a quick step to the side and threw a wide-right hook, only if it wasn't _too wide_ -

This time Mizuki catched him with a left-straight, breaking Haruya’s balance for a second, and making him back step towards the ropes. Trying hard to keep his composure, Haruya stiffened his guard and blocked the other’s press-punches. Then something inside him acted in pure self-preservation that he rolled under a right-straight coming from the other, stepped to the side, and sent a quite unexpected left upper-cut to Mizuki.

The punch landed right to the other’s chin. If his opponent's lefts were good enough, and if he weren’t 47 kilograms, that could have dropped him. Mizuki turned to Haruya’s side. Sending a straight-punch, he catched the other from the back of his left ear. After couple more exchanges between the fighters, the timer rang. They touched gloves;

Mizuki let out a pleased laugh; ‘’- What was that upper-cut, God.. no one could see that ‘’ The other nodded and gave a chuckle too as he sat down and dangled his legs from the ring-side. Mizuki followed after.

Drinking water and resting, they did a brief discussion on the sparring. Mizuki gave some advice and answered some questions the other boxer had in his mind. He then decided it was the right time to bring up the matter Sensei wanted him to talk about;

-‘’ Nee.. I heard you were leaving the orphanage- ‘’ He started, then observed as the other immediately escaped his eyes and started picking at the laces on his sneakers; ‘’- Where are you going to stay? ‘’  
-‘’ I.. have some ideas ‘’ _Consisting of sleeping inside the gym, inside the ring, actually._  
_-‘’_ Can’t you get extra scholarship or something, you took the university entrance exams, right? ‘’  
_-‘’_ They didn’t really went great _.._ I think I got..stressed _..’’ Haruya lied. He did have his reasoning, but he practically winged the entire exam._

This was when Mizuki was supposed to say _‘ Why don’t you consider staying with the Sensei? ‘._ Instead, the words that left his mouth were these;

-‘ _’ Why don’t you stay with me?_ ‘’

Haruya stopped picking at his laces and dumbfoundedly looked at him. Maybe he was the one who came back with unexpected moves, but outside the ring, no one could beat the other. Mizuki acted like he didn’t see the other’s _slight shock_ , and ran a hand in his sweat-soaked red-hair;

‘’- I live alone y’know.. wouldn’t say no to a company. Besides it would give you some time to prepare for.. _life_.. and all ‘’

Even though his first instinct was towards rejecting the offer, the image of a certain paper filled with crumbled numbers stopped him. Haruya bit his lip, then rubbed his eyes. Mizuki read the distress on the other’s movements.

He then got onto his feet. After gazing at the floor for some time, he cleaned his throat and bowed; ‘’- Then I.. will not be burden, Akabayashi-kun. Thank you..’’

Mizuki’s eyebrows furrowed, he hopped out from the ring, and putting a hand onto his shoulder, straightened the other from the bow; ‘’- Come on, no need for that. _You’re a friend, not a burden, Shiki-kun_ ‘’ He patted his shoulder before walking towards the door; ‘’- I can help you move out, just let me know when, alright? ‘’

One _needed_ to imagine Sisyphus happy.

Even as Sisyphus beat his legs out of _despair._

The sun fell onto the dust inside the worn-gym, and a young boxer let himself fall onto his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Books Mentioned:  
> Albert Camus - The Myth of Sisyphus  
> Oscar Wilde - The Happy Prince
> 
> Now.. You saw that I used the color blue and symbolised Mizuki as Aegir, despite him being 'the redhead', and used red and the phoenix for Haruya. This is because I want them to have such a harmony and balance between them that they fill each other's cracks, and be each other's mirror. The phoenix is Haruya, because he is now starting an entirely new life for himself. Also, have you understood why I used 'the myth of sisyphus' ?? There are just so many.. things in the chapter y'know..'
> 
> And it is true that in Japan, people refer to orphans as ' throw-away children'.. I will link some readings I did in order to prepare this story.. The things I have read left me quite heartbroken, though.. 
> 
> Lastly, is there anyone even reading this????? Like.. why didn't I write this as a Shizaya story omg :(( I hate my choices sometimes gooooooooooooooooood.. But.. the story fits to this pairing.. I guess I am getting used to this :') 
> 
> 1 - https://lightson-children.com/en/social-care/childrens-home/  
> 2 - https://www.hrw.org/news/2014/05/01/witness-lack-support-japanese-orphanages 
> 
> You can talk to me on tumblr; whitecircusbird


	3. Holding On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter today when I got a comment from 'astroenergy' that the third chapter of this fic was being waited. I was surprised since I thought no one was actually reading this omg:D So there you go, I really liked the chapter, it is not 'all symbolism and poetry' but it turned out quite enjoyable and as deep as I wanted. I hope you like it as much as I did.
> 
> Vocab;  
> 1- ' Zannen nee..'; It is like saying, 'ah.. bad luck..'

Chapter 3; _Holding On_

The orphanage stood under thin orange and blue sky. Since they were on a hill, the breeze tousling everyone’s hair was just a tad shy from being a wind. Mizuki stood next to his friend’s company-owned white minivan as he observed the scene while trying not to be too invasive with his eyes as Haruya said his goodbyes.

Black painted gates were open all the way, all the staff, and the kids were waiting behind the gates except the headmistress Nura Mitsukuni, the twins; their brother Izaya, and Shizuo. Haruya cleaned his throat, tugged on his t-shirt, he fixed some nonexistent creases on it, then looked at the kids;

‘’- Okay..um.. I’ll come back once I settle everything, okay? ‘’ He put his one hand onto Shizuo’s brown hair, the kid nodded.

The headmistress smiled and placed her hands on the twin girls’ shoulders; ‘’- And we’re going to come to see you fight. Correspondance took some time, since the fight is in a late hour; but you’re all allowed to go. ‘’ She said. Haruya gave her a nod of head in appreciation.

His friend opened the trunk and came next to Mizuki; ‘’- Must be hard huh? Was he being a brother to those kids? ‘’

True was that, Mizuki was taken aback by the fact that there were no tears. He wasn’t expecting Haruya to break down in sobs, but none of the children cried either. He tied his arms in front of his chest and leaned his back to the door of the minivan; ‘’- Don’t know, seems so.‘’ With a move of his head, he pointed his _training partner_ ; ‘’- We’ve been training together for two years. But he doesn’t talk about himself a lot, so I don’t know much about him actually. ‘’

‘’- I see..’’ His friend lit a cigarette and they waited.

When all the kids bowed in front of him, Haruya’s brows furrowed and he dropped his eyes to the green grass under them. Izaya instructed his sisters to bow, Shizuo spoke; ‘’- Thank you for being a brother to us for all these years, Haruya-nii-san. ‘’

‘’- Look-‘’ Scratching the side of his nose, Haruya got down onto his one knee and lifted the boys from their bow; ‘’- I haven’t done anything to deserve your bow, _everything starts from now on, right?_ \- ‘’ He smirked and pulled them into a hug. He then spoke in a voice that only two of them could hear;

_‘’- It’s not two of you against each other. It’s you, against the world. But remember that you live in it, and you have every right to enjoy it too, alright Shizuo, Izaya? ‘’_ The boys nodded, and Haruya hugged the twins too;

‘’- This is just a little _sayonara_ , not an _abayo_. I am always your brother, Haruya Shiki, _the boxer_.. ‘’

‘’- So, when is your next fight, Akabayashi? I’d love to come and watch..’’ His friend asked, bringing his cigarette to his thin lips and narrowing his eyes against the sun.

His friend, _Kazamoto Takaaki_ , was a twenty-five year old intelligent man who recently started working as an editor in a local paper. He would tell everyone that he was a writer, and he has been working on a novel ever since Mizuki met him when he visited him after one of his early fights.

But something in him believed that the said novel was never going to see the light of the day. For all in his intelligence, Kazamoto liked to drink and was a little lazy too. Mizuki replied; ‘’- I don’t have anything scheduled soon. But _his_ fight is in four weeks- ‘’ He looked at Haruya bowing to the headmistress and the rest of the workers, probably thanking them for _‘taking care of him throughout the years’_. He then turned to Kazamoto;

‘’- I don’t know if he has a talent or not, but he works relentlessly. Sensei must have seen _something_ in him, though; or else he wouldn’t train him. It’s just that we can’t make him gain weight, and sensei wants him to go couple weights up before he turns professional. ‘’

‘’- Is that so? Seems interesting..’’ Seeing the younger boxer walking towards them with a red suitcase and a gym bag, Kazamoto Takaaki put his cigarette off on the grass. Mizuki didn’t ask what was interesting and walked to take the suitcase from Haruya instead;

‘’- Is this all? ‘’ He asked. Now with his one hand empty, Haruya made a vague move, while mumbling a _‘yeah.’ What do you expect, I am an orphan; Was the translation of the move._

Mizuki introduced _the writer_ to Haruya after he put the suitcase into the trunk and took the gym bag; ‘’- This is Kazamoto Takaaki. We met couple years ago after my third amateur fight. I asked him to take us downtown since I don’t have a licence yet-‘’

‘’- He does drive around though- ‘’ Kazamoto added, turning to the boxer. They gave bows to each other; ‘’- Kazamoto Takaaki. I work as a junior editor at _‘ Aomori Nikki ‘_ newspaper, but I am also a writer. _Yoroshiku onegai shimasu._ ‘’

‘’- Haruya Shiki. Thank you for giving us a hand, Kazamoto-san. ‘’

The air was a little suffocating, _a little gloomy_ inside the car, since it has been waiting under the sun for sometime. Kazamoto rolled down the windows and started driving down from the hill. Mizuki was sitting at the front seat next to the driver, Haruya was at the back;

-‘’ The kids are looking up to you, huh? They look like good kids, too. ‘’ Kazamoto started a conversation. A too old enka was playing on the radio, the car jolted a little when they passed on top of a rock;  
-‘’ Yes, sir.. they are. ‘’ Haruya replied.  
-‘’ _Sir?_ I am couple years older than you guys, please don’t make me feel old. ‘’ Mizuki gave a smirk on that, and continued to watch the scenery.

They halved the road leading to the city. _The writer_ skipped the radio channels for sometime, then left it at a random one; ‘’- So.. I hope you don’t take me wrong for asking, since I am a writer, I am a little curious-‘’ Mizuki looked at Kazamoto, wondering what he wanted to ask Haruya;

‘’- ..What is it like, being an orphan? ‘’

A silence fell to the atmosphere. ‘’- I..um-‘’ Haruya went into the sentence not to be rude, but realised quickly that he never thought about something like that. He just _was_ an orphan, ever since he knew himself. So his answer came unprepared and unfiltered, maybe even a little too honest regardless of the slight inappropriateness of the question in the first place;

‘’- _Lonely_ , I guess..-‘’ Haruya scratched his hair and looked out from the window; ‘’- We do have _‘sisters’_ and _‘brothers’_ who are good to us. Well, some of them not, maybe. And we also have the staff.. But in the end, _it’s you against the high hill of life, looking down, deciding whether you’re in this or not._. ‘’

‘’- _High hill of life_.. I liked that. ‘’ Kazamoto gave a slight smirk as he checked the road and turned from an intersection.

Haruya added, a little faintly; ‘’ _\- ..And we cry quietly_. ‘’ Mizuki gave his ear to the change of tone in his partner’s voice in that sentence. ‘’- Why is that? ‘’ He asked and heard the little _melancholic smirk_ in the other’s voice as he answered;

_‘’- Who is there to listen, Akabayashi-kun? ‘’_

_‘’- Aah-‘_ ’ After a little silence, Kazamoto exclaimed; ‘’- Now I remember.. _I have heard about your orphanage from the news.. It was a year ago or something_ \- ‘’ He then added, giving a short look to the young man at the backseat before turning his gaze to the road; ‘’ _\- I hope everything is alright now._ ‘’ Mizuki didn’t know what _the writer_ was talking about. He noted to ask him later.

Haruya brought a hand towards his stomach; ‘’- Yeah, It’s all solved. ‘’ He replied.

‘’- Well..-‘’ Kazamoto stopped the car in front of a moderately old apartment building. The exterior was in a nostalgic shade of orange, with little cracks scattered around it. There was something both sad and lively about it; ‘’- You do have Akabayashi now. You can talk about your worries to each other, since looks like you are housemates from now on. ‘’

As Haruya was taking his gym-bag to the third floor, Kazamoto discreetly extended Mizuki a couple thousand yen; ‘’- Just in case. I know boxers in his weight-class don’t make a lot of money. It would be inappropriate if I gave him directly.‘’

Mizuki nodded and took the money. Haruya was going to tell him to _‘count it as rent’_ , and wasn’t going to take it.

Ch. 3.1; ‘ _Who is there to listen?’_

**Two Weeks Later;**

Sensei sent him a fast right-straight, Mizuki could barely block it; ‘’- I told you not to jump for the punch, you get hit like that!-‘’ He then added, still chasing him around the ring; ‘’- Fix your stance, punch beautifully, you’re not a Japanese-knockoff Rocky. ‘’

Mizuki has been in awe at how the sensei still had this much energy in him, despite his age. He mumbled an apology and tried to walk the sensei into the middle of the ring by sending pressing straight punches. After couple more exchanges, he almost got hit by a right hook, but the timer saved him.

‘’- Okay rest- ‘’ Sensei said, stopping and withdrawing his right hook _just_ in time, and walking to the corner of the ring while taking his gloves off; ‘’- We’re going to have to work on your footwork. You’re not an heavyweight, you shouldn’t be this stiff on the ring. ‘’

‘’- _Hai,hai_ -‘’ Mizuki let out, as he sat cross-legged in the middle of the ring. He wiped his face to a little towel. He closed his eyes, and _had to breathe._ He didn’t lower the towel from his face for sometime.

Sensei put his hands to the back of his hips and stretched his back; ‘’- How are things going with Haru? ‘’

‘’- Uhh..-‘’ The champion revealed his face and traveled a hand in his sweat-soaked red hair; ‘’- I see less dishes to be washed around, and my mother might have ordained him as a saint when she visited us to meet him. He is doing everything to _‘not to be a burden’, as he puts it._ ‘’ He marked his words with two fingers up and curled.

-‘’ I see..’’  
-‘’ I do hear him pray at night, though, Sensei. Um-‘’ He started, a little unsure, but an hunch in him was telling him not to hide anything from the sensei; ‘’- _He is apologising for something_. But.. I don’t know what it is, since he still doesn’t count me more than a sparring partner, _I think_. ‘’

‘’- Hm..-‘’ Scratching his stubble, Sensei thought voicefully; ‘’- Christian missionaries visit _those places_ , he could be a believer-‘’ He paced to leave the ring; ‘’- You can ask him about God, could be a conversation. ‘’ He advised.

Just before he started walking towards the door, he stopped and turned to Mizuki; ‘’- He started working in Nakami’s ramen shop, right? ‘’

Mizuki smiled and gave a little bow of his head without getting up; ‘’- Yeah, thanks to you Sensei, he is making some money there. ‘’

‘’- And you?-‘’ Sensei’s brows crossed a little, the line in between his brows deepened; ‘’- Are you still working in that nightclub? ‘’

_Mizuki was working as a bodyguard in the nightclub owned by the local yakuza ‘Anka-kai’_ ; ‘’- It pays well, sensei. You know my family’s situation- ‘’ Mizuki explained, opening his hands to his sides; ‘’- Don’t worry, I don’t get in trouble with the gang guys and all. ‘’

‘’- You better not. _That’s not a joke, Mizuki._ ’’ Sensei turned and put his towel to his shoulder; ‘’- Tell Haruya we’ll do a sparring on Wednesday..’’

**Tuesday, at 22:10, at night;**

He was either going to pass out, or someone was going to stop him to ask if he was having a panic attack, as Haruya ran pass the tourists and the people sitting at the side of the cafés. He made a mistake of closing his eyes _just for five minutes_ right after boxing, and fell asleep at the under corner of the ring in the gym, and now he was ten minutes late.

When he arrived his destination, he was panting while holding onto the wooden door of the ramen shop. He lined quick apologies as much as he could, then collected himself and bowed in front of the the owner Nakami Toyamori; ‘’- I apologise Nakami-san, I.. fell asleep after the training. ‘’

Sixty five year old ramen chef Nakami Toyamori was a man of discipline; He had decided to give the kid a job in his ramen shop after his friend _–the sensei-_ talked to him, but deep inside, _he could never bring himself to trust an orphan_ , despite the kid being rather hard-working. He walked to his side and poked the side of his arm; ‘’- Get to the dishes, quick ‘’ The boy nodded, bowed once again, and ran towards the back of the shop.

Haruya saw three largely-built men sitting in the table right in the middle; They were rather loud, two of them had their sleeves curled up, revealing tattoos shining under the yellow-lights of the ramen shop. He also escaped his eyes from Nakami-san’s daughter _Koyomi_ , cutting up vegetables on the cutting board, and went straight to the back of the kitchen.

‘’- Oi, Nakami-san-‘’ One of the men called out for the owner. He didn’t seem in his thirties, his midnight-blue jacket was hanged to the chair, golden chain on his neck catched the light on top of them. A little hunched with _respect_ , Nakami went towards them; ‘’- What is it, o-kyaku-san? ‘’

-‘’ Who is the kid? ‘’ Nakami hunched a little more as he _played_ an hesitation before answering;  
-‘’ He is an orphan, o-kyaku-san, I let him work here. You know, _who is going to take care of our orphans if we don’t, right?_ ‘’  
-‘’Oh..-‘’ The low-rank yakuza’s eyes met with his _‘colleagues’_ on the table, he then nodded; ‘’- Got it. Could you send us more sake? ‘’

**The Same Day, 22:10, at night;**

‘’- You’re going to buy me that bag, right, Satori?-‘’ A girl staggered both her steps, and her words as she sticked her hips to the man in a flashy suit as they were leaving the latest model black car. Mizuki gave them a bow when he saw the second bodyguard doing so. The man stopped and looked at him;

-‘’ Is he new here? ‘’ His _senpai_ , and co-worker Takahashi answered;  
-‘’ _Hai_. He is a boxer, Satori-san, works part-time here. ‘’  
-‘’ I see.. boxer ha-‘’ Satori gave a drunk laugh as he patted a hand to Mizuki’s right shoulder, rather hard, making the other lift a brow; ‘’- Good..’’ They then went inside. Mizuki catched _the girl’s_ eyes lingering on him as she followed _her man_ inside _._

Mizuki sent his co-worker an eye, asking _‘who is this?’_. The other looked around before answering;

-‘’ He is the new executive to _Anka-kai_ -‘’ He drew towards him and added; ‘’- rich as fuck. ‘’  
-‘’ Yeah I can see that. ‘’

An hour or so later, someone came out from the club; ‘’- One of you come inside to watch around. Satori-san suspects there are people from _the other group_. ‘’ Takahashi sent Mizuki a look, getting the message, Mizuki went inside.

Too much noise, a lot of grinding, continuous dancing action, three coloured lights and sweat. Mizuki slipped from all of these except the noise, and stood where he’s told to stand and _‘open his eyes carefully’_ . He did; In the table in front of him, Satori and his entourage was drinking. He once again saw _the girl_ sending him barely cautious flirting looks behind her fake-lashes. She could be a pretty girl under all that makeup, Mizuki couldn’t tell from here.

A while later, she stood up. Fixing her ice-blue dress, she excused herself to the bathroom. She passed Mizuki _very closely_ , and the other felt a paper brushing his fingers behind his back. He held it, lifting his one brow up, but not looking at her way.

Three and a half hours later, there was no blood, Satori and his gang was already gone, and his shift was over. Buttoning his gray jacket up, he discreetly took the paper out and looked inside. There was a note; _‘ Suitohato Hotel, room fifty five, anytime..’_

He looked at the street in front of him; _He has passed that hotel before_. A little hesitance after, he started walking towards _the message._

* * *

No one asked him anything as he passed the lobby and walked upstairs until the room fifty-five. He knocked on the door, trying to listen for any noise inside. The door opened not too long later, and Mizuki was right; She was _pretty_ under all that glitter;

‘’- I knew you’d come- ‘’ She held his hand and pulled him inside with a siren-like smile. She then closed the door after sticking her head out to the hallway and checking if anyone saw them.

She then put a hand to Mizuki’s chest; ‘’- I saw you at the club.. They told me you were a boxer..’’ Mizuki lifted a brow when she started opening the buttons on his jacket; 

-‘’ Yeah I am. Impressed? ‘’  
-‘’ Depends on what I’ll see under here- ‘’ She got to the buttons of his black shirt, there weren’t many words exchanged from then, as they started kissing and their feet started walking them towards the bed.

When he felt her nails tugging at his belt, Mizuki broke the kiss with a rather harsh move and stopped her; ‘’- Wait..’’ She lifted a perplexed brow at him;

-‘’ I know you’re a virgin baby, but don’t worry, I don’t bite.’’ She once again made a move towards his belt;  
-‘’ Wait, you don’t understand-‘’ He turned and sat sideways, now his profile was in front of her. Mizuki gave her a self-conscious look when he catched his breath.

She brought a hand to her mouth when she _understood;_ ‘’- Don’t tell me-‘’ She immediately covered her breasts with the edge of the sheets; ‘’- Are you..?’’

 _Why are you even covering your breasts?_ Mizuki let a distressed breath out and rubbed his eyes; ‘’- _Yeah_.. I.. I don’t know. Sorry-‘’

_‘’- Zannen nee..-‘’_ She gave a nasal sigh out, then extended her hand to her satin night gown standing next to Mizuki; ‘’- _Never thought a boxer would be..um, yeah-_ ‘’ She wore the ocean blue gown in a quick move, then took her cigarettes and lighter, walking to the vanity.

She sat to the stool of the vanity and started fixing her dark-blonde waves against the mirror; ‘’- But then again, they are always in the last places you’d think-‘’ She sent a look to Mizuki’s reflection in the mirror, who was still embarassed and rubbing his forehead; ‘’ _\- I work for the yakuza. I’d know.‘_ ’ She then smirked and turned to him. She blinked to him; her cigarette releasing a thin smoke between her long, fake diamond-ornamanted nails;

‘’- You thought you could do it with me, and you’d be _‘normal’_ , right? I would say don’t push it too hard, _there is always a scene for men like you too_..’’

Understanding he wasn’t going to be thrown out ingloriously from her room, Mizuki let a relieved breath out. He then pointed his black shirt laying down on the floor; ‘’- So, uh, can I go, _nee-chan_? ‘’

Smiling, she lifted a hand as in; _‘ Of course. ‘_

* * *

Three hours later, the customers were happily on their way home, and the ramen shop was closed. Haruya was mopping the floors one more time when the owner called for him; ‘’- Oi, Shiki. ‘’

The old man was sitting in a chair dragged towards the open door, with a cigarette smoking in between his fingers, as tired as him. The night’s air was filling the room. Haruya didn’t lift his face as he put away the mop and went to his side.

‘’- I don’t want anything like that to repeat once again. You are going to be on time, and you’re going to earn your money _properly_ -‘’ After a silence from the other, he added, softening his attitude just a little; since he knew his words were going to sting;

_‘’- You know kids like you don’t get second chances, Shiki-kun. Use it wisely_. ‘’ 

Haruya bowed a little; ‘’- _I know, Nakami-san_. ‘’ He said, feeling the _heaviness_ of his _awareness_ throughout his heart; ‘’- Thank you for your benevolence. I will not be late again. ‘’

Haruya was putting the cleaning supplies away when he felt a hand touching his back. He immediately turned, his fist was curled in an instant. He cursed under his breath when he saw Nakami’s daughter, Koyomi, looking a little scared by his not anticipated move. He cleaned his throat and apologised;

-‘’ Sorry..I-‘’ Waving her hand as in _‘it’s okay’,_ and cutting his sentence, she gave him a kind smile;  
-‘’ It’s because you’re a boxer, right? The reflexes-‘’  
-‘’ Yeah, the reflexes..’’ Finishing his job quickly, Haruya catched his gym bag from the corner of the kitchen and bowed to her;

‘’- Good night, Koyomi-san ‘’

‘’- G..Good night. ‘’ It was obvious that she wasn’t expecting their conversation to be over this quickly.

* * *

_‘ I need to buy an actual jacket.’_ He thought as he brought the hood of his sweatshirt to his hair, and pulled the zip of the jacket of his bright green tracksuit all the way up. He wondered if Nakami saw him speaking to her daughter, now _that_ would be trouble. He was passing an alleyway preoccupied in thoughts when he heard a male voice; ‘’- Oi kid. ‘’

When he turned and looked, he quickly recognized the two yakuza men from the ramen shop earlier. His brows furrowed; ‘’- What is it? ‘’

One of them had a gray coat on him, it looked expensive. The other was wearing a leather jacket. Both their hairs were combed with _brilliantine,_ managing to look shiny – _and cheap_ -, even under God’s forgotten night sky; ‘’- You seem like you’re working hard-‘’ They both put one hand onto his shoulders, walking him towards the darkness of the alleyway; ‘’- Heard you were an orphan, I am too- ‘’ Haruya sent them questioning looks, his fingers were in fists, buried inside the pockets of his coat. But he stayed quiet and listened.

One of them took out a leather-lined wallet; ‘’- You know.. it’s against the _order_ _of things_ if we let a bright looking kid like you just.. _down_ -‘’ He took out, what Haruya presumed, was both the amount of his allowence given by the government, and the salary he earned from working in the ramen shop; ‘’- Here, take it as a gift from your _brothers_. ‘’

Haruya pulled his jacket down, then looked at them; ‘’- I am not a beggar-‘’ He started and added, his fingers reaching for the money; ‘’- But I am not stupid either. ‘’ He counted the money, it was double the amount of his salary _, and the allowance._

He then looked at them, putting the money into his jacket; ‘’- So, what can I do for you, _brothers_? ‘’

_Sisyphus pushed the rock up to the mountain, again and again. But no one told him that he couldn’t bargain with the mountain, that he couldn’t take his chances against the ‘order of things’._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this fic made me want to visit an orphanage, and I did. I visited an orphanage near the town I live, I brought some gifts that the children would want ( I called the orphanage first ofc)..So um.. I am an emotional person and know that some feelings I gathered from my visit might have reflected into my characterization of Haru :')
> 
> btw yay Kazamoto


	4. Sins, Secrets and Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter; The event from two years ago gets revealed. I tried my utmost to not be explicit, but if you're faint-hearted, I am giving you a warning.  
> This chapter might look emotionally heavy -it is--, and if you feel like you cannot finish it, just scroll to the last sentence, then continue back :')
> 
> Next chapter: Boxing match. *I might even write it right after my own match lol*  
> Disclaimer : All the events in this story are strictly fictional (avoiding lawsuit hehe)
> 
> Vocab:  
> Ni-jyuu-roku: Twenty six  
> Ni-jyuu-nana: Twenty seven

_Ch.4_ – _Sins, Secrets and Confrontations_

**Three Days Later – Eleven days to Haruya’s boxing match;**

As Haruya was doing sit-ups, Mizuki was helping him by holding his ankles and giving some of his weight to anchor him down. He was also counting for him; ‘’- _Ni-jyuu-roku, ni-jyuu-nana..’’_

Mizuki turned his head and saw the Sensei having a phone call outside. Utilizing the opportunity, he asked, without dropping the count;

-‘’ _Twenty-nine_.. _Ne.._ Do you believe God exists? ‘’ Hearing the unexpected question, a puzzled expression settled to Haruya’s face. His brows furrowed, Mizuki watched as a driblet of sweat slid down from the side of his black hair;  
-‘’ What’s that question all of a sudden? ‘’ Reaching to the thirty-fifth sit-up, Haruya switched to doing crunches. His teeth clenched as he felt the needed muscles burning. Mizuki shrugged;  
-‘’ Just a conversation y’know.. I see you read a lot. I thought it would make you think and take your mind off of pain- ‘’ He then directed; ‘’- Okay let it go now. ‘’

‘’- Yeah..’’ Haruya let out as he broke the crunch and let his upper body drop onto the gym floor, panting all the way. Mizuki let his ankles go and sat cross-legged. He could see Haruya thinking about his question as his eyes were fixed to the iron bars of the roof on top of them. His chest was heaving up and down with deep breaths.

After a while, he answered; ‘’- I honestly don’t know if I truly believe God’s existence. From the heart, I mean- ‘’ He straightened and sat cross-legged just like Mizuki. He then blinked and wiped away the sweat trailing down into his right eye; ‘’- But I do pray the way the missionaries taught us. They would visit the orphanage from time to time.. ‘’

‘’- Oh. ‘’ Thinking _'the sensei was right about the missionaries'_ , Mizuki lifted his brows and gave a sound indicating he was listening.

Not having the energy to reach for his towel, Haruya brought the neck of his indigo-blue tank top to his face and dried his forehead; ‘’- I might be very well talking to a wall, though. But it’s mostly about having something there- _ish_ to listen to you, right? ‘’ He gave a half smirk and looked at Mizuki.

Even though Mizuki wanted to tell him that _he_ was there to listen, he hesitated, and his hesitation was filled with Sensei’s voice; ‘’- Oi Haruya, Mizuki, stop slacking around-‘’ He then added; ‘’- Mizuki come here. Haruya, you start push-ups. ‘’

‘’- Hai. ‘’ Both boxers moved to do as they were told. As Mizuki got up to his feet, his eyes catched onto Haruya’s trainers; _They looked brand new, and were the newest style of a known brand_. Still, Mizuki had to give his attention to the sensei, so he ran to him;

-‘’ Hai. ‘’ The sensei looked distressed as he scratched the back of his head;  
-‘’ I don’t have good news, kid. I thought it would be better to put you in a tournament instead of arranging an opponent, so that you would make some _actual money_. But all the contests around the area are full. I am still doing some phone-calls but..’’  
-‘’ Ah. I see- ‘’ Unlike Haruya, Mizuki wasn’t the one who would let his optimism go easily. He shrugged and opened his hands to his sides; ‘’- If the chance is to come, It’ll come. There’s no point in pushing it, I think. ‘’  
-‘’ Is that so? ‘’ The sensei looked at his student, then patted his shoulder; ‘’- Okay then. Do your warm-up and get to the heavy bag. ‘’  
-‘’ Hai. ‘’

Ch 4.1 - _Trust and Instinct_

The next four days passed with Mizuki seeing Haruya come home with a new pair of boxing gloves, shoes, and finally, a coat. All of them were necessities of course so he didn't pay much mind to it. On the other hand, Mizuki would also prefer if Haruya actually _ate_ ; The champion boxer was confused as to how his friend managed to train this hard while eating so little. When he asked him about it, Haruya told him that he couldn’t keep a lot of food down, and couldn’t train well when his stomach ached because of that. Mizuki didn’t push the matter further after that, since he knew it was the Sensei’s place to talk to his boxers’ about their health.

But when he saw him playing with a new cell phone – _for as much as Mizuki knew, he didn’t have one couple days ago_ -, he _had to_ ask;

-‘’ Nice phone. Is it new?-‘’ Mizuki casually asked as he walked to the short-legged kotatsu table and sat across the other. Haruya nodded and extended the device to Mizuki;  
-‘’ Thanks to Nakami–san. _He gave me some extra hours recently_. ‘’ He then separated a piece of bread and ate it with the miso soup in front of him. It was morning, there was an hour before they had to be at the gym.  
-‘’ I see..’’ Mizuki superficially examined the phone, then gave it back to Haruya. He then took his chopsticks and started eating from the rice Haruya pre-cooked the night before. _It was really good._

There wasn’t anything in Haruya’s demeanor that would make Mizuki suspicious on where all this money was coming from. _Only if he didn’t know Nakami_. The owner of the ramen shop wasn’t a bad guy, but he was strict; both with his employees and with his money. There was no way he could be helping Haruya more than giving him a possibly underpaying job..

‘’- Hurry, we’re going to be late. ‘’ Mizuki must have ran into deep thoughts. He looked at Haruya when he warned him about the clock. Haruya stood up with the empty miso bowl in his hand to wash it before they left the house.

The champion’s brows slightly furrowed as his eyes lowered to the still full bowl of rice on his _partner’s_ side of the table.

* * *

Sensei catched Haruya from his liver for the second time since they started sparring; ‘’- Don’t be late to lowering your guard- ‘’ He said as the other’s eyes creased with pain upon feeling the piercing shot on the side of his stomach. The sensei added; ‘’- You might be a left-handed boxer, doesn’t mean you’re not going to defend yourself from bodyshots. ‘’

Letting out something of an _‘hai’_ , Haruya nodded and took a deep breath in. He opened his eyes and lifted his guard up. Watching them from the ringside, Mizuki could see he was nearing towards his limit; But he had to admit, he has been making visible progress.

Sensei feinted a low right hand, then threw the same body punches to try his student. Finally, he slipped from Haruya’s right straight and took a step back; ‘’- Good, just like that. Relax now. ‘’

Mizuki ran to extend a towel to the Sensei. Haruya took the glove on his right hand and his mouthpiece off while walking to the corner. The fingers on his right hand curled on his stomach as he leaned his forehead to the blue corner pad and tried to _breathe_ the pain away. He couldn’t see it, but behind his back, Sensei and Mizuki exchanged _a look_ , then the Sensei called him; ‘’- Come to the middle, Haruya. Take the gloves off. ‘’

Nodding his head, Haruya turned and took his other glove off before joining to the Sensei now sitting cross-legged right in the middle of the ring. Mizuki stayed outside of the ring, but watched from a distance with his arms linked on his chest.

‘’ - That’s not where I hit you- ‘’ Sensei lifted an index finger and pointed where Haruya has been holding his stomach, then blinked an eye as in _‘What is going on?_ ’ He added; ‘’- I need to know if there is something wrong with my boxer, _especially if his match is in a week_. ‘’

From there, it wasn’t hard for the young boxer to understand Mizuki must have tipped Sensei about the problems he’s been having with his stomach.

Haruya first came eye to eye with _the champion_ , then lowered his face and scratched the side of his mouth with his thumb; ‘’- It’s nothing new, Sensei. It’s the past two-three years I’ve been eating less because I had these.. weird pains in my stomach. They must have aggravated when I started training harder. ‘’ He explained the situation frankly.

-‘’ I see. Have you seen a doctor about it? ‘’ Sensei asked, Haruya nodded;  
-'’ Yes. They couldn’t find anything wrong. ‘’ On that, the older man scratched his stubble and seemed to be thinking. Mizuki went into the conversation;  
-‘’ Could it be from stress? ‘’  
-‘’ They did say it could be psychological, but I am not stressed more than usual-‘’ He opened his palms, then connected them on his trainers; ‘’- Like I said, it must be because I am training harder. ‘’ He made an eye contact with his sensei; ‘’- I don’t think it’ll be a problem for the match, Sensei. ‘’

When Sensei put a hand to the side of his arm, Haruya’s heart skipped a beat with the possibility of him maybe calling the fight off. But luckily, his worries were unneeded.

The Sensei looked right into his boxer’s eyes, his look strong, and in search of strenght. When he found it, he nodded and held Haruya’s shoulders; ‘’- I would tell you if there was any problem, _and I expect you to do so in every case_. Now- ‘’ He leaned more to his eyes; ‘’- You’ve worked hard. We know your opponent, there shouldn’t be any problem. But the only thing is, I need you to listen to me and my directions always. ‘’ He was talking about the fight day, Haruya understood;

‘’- Of course, Sensei. Always. ‘’

‘’- Good. ‘’ Sensei drew his hand back and made a move to stand up; ‘’- Then I will not hesitate to put my trust in your abilities. ‘’

* * *

**Three Days Later - At 01.30 in Night;**

Nineteen year old boxer Akabayashi Mizuki was someone who put trust in his instincts and acted based on them. Thus, three days later, he was waiting in an alleyway looking at the ramen shop his _roommate_ was working at. He had to arrange his own shift at the club in order to be at the ramen shop thirty minutes before Haruya’s shift was going to be over.

Thirty minutes later, the younger boxer appeared, bowing to the owner before closing the door and turning to walk on the next street. Mizuki followed from a safe distance.

After twenty five minutes of walking, Haruya entered from the gates of a western-style restaurant and started waiting inside the garden. Mizuki leaned his back to the rusty steel of a warehouse and observed as Haruya met with two biker guys wearing tiger-embroidered bomber jackets.

After he talked to them for a while, one of the bikers went inside and came back with two guys wearing obnoxious shirts and possibly fake golden chains.

Mizuki let a breath out and brought a hand to his forehead; It wasn’t so hard to understand his stupid and stubborn friend was working for the yakuza. His brows furrowed and he quickly turned to leave when he saw one of the low-rank yakuza put a hand on Haruya’s shoulder and laugh, obviously impressed with whatever work the other was doing for them.

They needed to talk.

* * *

Ch 4.2 - _A New Life_

**Morning:**

Haruya was woken up with Mizuki knocking on the door in a steady, but particularly annoying rhythm.

He mumbled some inaudible sentences under his breath and immediately turned to take his wrist-watch next to him to look at the clock; ‘’- There’s still an hour to gym, Akabayashi-kun. What is it? ‘’ He looked at him and saw that he was waiting by the door with his arms connected on his chest and brows furrowed.

-‘’ We need to talk. ‘’  
-‘’ Can’t it wait? ‘’  
-‘’ _I know you work for the yakuza, Shiki._ ‘’

On that, Haruya felt a satirical cold surrounding him and piercing his muscles. He straightened up on his _futon_ as he tried to understand how could Mizuki have figured out. Looking at his eyes, he understood that _he must have followed him_ , and a frown placed itself on his mouth; ‘’- Fine. ‘’ He threw the futon to the side and made a move to get out of the bed.

Mizuki pointed a finger at the gym bag and gloves waiting on the ground;‘’- We’re going to talk. _Get your gloves._ ‘’

Boxing, was the only _working_ way of conversation they knew, and Haruya neither had anything to hide, nor his head was ever lowered in the face of his own actions. He spat an another _‘Fine’_ , and quickly got dressed. He took his gym bag, and joined the other waiting downstairs in front of the old apartment building

Mizuki walked in fumed steps in front of him, Haruya followed. Both didn’t speak on the way to the gym. The silence continued after they arrived to the gym and wrapped their hands. After that, they wore their gloves. There was no timer needed.

On the ring, now face to face, Mizuki adjusted his gloves and looked at him; ‘’- Didn’t Sensei arranged you a job already, why did you feel the need to _let his trust down?_ ‘’ He quickly blocked the right straight flown to his face, and taking a step back, got into the guard.

Haruya answered; ‘’- No one is letting anyone’s trust _down_ , Akabayashi-kun. I still do my job in the ramen shop _in the best way I can_. This is just a side-job to make more money, _as one needs it_. ‘’ He back-stepped while talking and slipped from Mizuki’s straight-punches. After that, he took a side step and feinted a right hand. Just the way Sensei taught him, he quickly lowered his upper body and catched Mizuki with a body-shot to his stomach.

Mizuki let an angry breath out; ‘’- But why yakuza? Don’t you understand-‘’ However, he was cut by the other;

‘’- What do I don’t understand? _How is this not the same thing with you working in a yakuza-owned club?_ It’s you, who doesn’t know _shit_. ’’

Mizuki catched Haruya’s left cheek with a sturdy punch, also returned back the body punch he received previously; ‘’- You know it’s not the same thing. ‘’ Then by placing his forearm under his chin, he pushed Haruya to the ropes; Which was completely illegal, but they weren’t boxing, _they were conversating_. He leaned onto his face and spoke; ‘’- Can’t you see they’ll use you, then get rid of you once you’re no good use to them? ‘’

He could be sticked to the ropes, but his arms were still free. Haruya balanced his right foot down on the ring and threw a left hook to Mizuki’s liver, immediately making him lower his arm; ‘’- I don’t think it is your place to tell me all these. _What do you know about me Akabayashi-kun?_ Let me tell you- ‘’ _The conversation_ was once again dragged into the middle of the ring by continuous quick straight-punches from the younger boxer;

-‘’ I, Shiki Haruya, completely blew my entrance exams, _and I did it on purpose_. ‘’ Haruya lifted his right glove and aggressively pointed himself. At that point, both were out of breath from throwing inelegant punches that would take more energy than necessary. So they stopped right there, in the middle of the ring. Mizuki looked at him;  
-‘’ You told me your exams didn't go well. Why would you do that? ‘’

‘’ Why..let me tell you why- ‘’ Haruya took his boxing gloves off, then walked onto Mizuki and held him by the collar of his dark gray t-shirt; ‘’- Because, even if I managed to get into the top university of this damn country, there was no way I could afford studying. Even with tuition, even with that stupid allowance we’re given. You understand? ‘’ He yelled the last sentence, then came even closer to Mizuki and spoke with a pained _venom_ in the undertone of his voice;

‘’ – _Even if I sold myself to random businessmen five nights a week_ , I still wouldn’t be able to study, Mizuki.‘’

That sentence stabbed a certain part inside Mizuki’s chest. He couldn't immediately face the reason why. He slowly took the glove on his right hand off, and wanted to hold Haruya’s arm on his collar, _gently_. But he couldn’t manage the necessary gentleness in the heat of the moment, and squeezed the other’s arm on his chest. He hissed; ‘’- Stop talking.‘’

Haruya shaked his head, throwing a bitter smirk at him; ‘’- No _. Hear the truth_. I am just being a footman to some lazy chinpira who has money, and I am not letting anyone _down_ because of that- ‘’ His voice got higher once again; ‘’- I am doing it, because once my brothers and their sisters get out of that orphanage, they’re not going to go through the shit I am going through. Because _they_ will have a brother who can support their education. Do you understand? ‘’ His breath faltered after that. He let go of the other’s collar and put a hand onto his stomach, biting his lip. He grabbed the ring-ropes with his other hand and held himself up;

_'' - They're not going to be frowned upon just because they're orphans. ''_

‘’- Mizuki, Haruya! ‘’ They heard the Sensei’s voice, clearly _angry_. On that, Haruya let a curse out under his breath and sticked his forehead to his arm holding onto the ropes.

The old man walked and climbed to the ring in quick steps; ‘’- What do you two think you’re doing?- ‘’ He turned to the champion and lifted his three fingers up on his face while pointing at Haruya with his other hand; ‘’- This kid’s match is in three days, Mizuki. Why are you fighting? ‘’

Mizuki poked the other’s arm standing next to him with his face down; ‘’- Go ahead. Tell Sensei about what you’ve been doing. ‘’ When there was no answer, he told instead, looking back at the Sensei;

‘’- He’s working for Anka-kai’s men. ‘’ After that, he stepped back and leaned to the ring-ropes, tying his arms onto his chest and leaving the conversation to the other two.

Sensei tilted his head and tried to see his student’s face hiding under his disheveled black hair; ‘’- Is that true, Haruya? Are you working for the yakuza, my child? ‘’

Hearing the Sensei’s _‘’my child’’_ , Haruya took a step back as the ache in his stomach worsened. He could also feel the dull pain under his left eye where he was catched by Mizuki; the effect of the punch still lingering on his motor coordination, and the world spinning before his eyes; ‘ I..- ‘’ He started, but his legs threatened to give out.

Sensei catched his student from the sides of his arms;

‘’- Don’t fall. If you fall now, you know I wouldn’t hesitate to beat you with my own hands. ‘’ Even though Sensei never lifted a hand to them outside the ring, both fighters knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do so, if it was going to make a point.

Haruya pulled himself together. He threw a look to Mizuki before answering to Sensei;

‘’ – It’s nothing different from what _he_ does. Bodyguarding, some transportation. Nothing particularly dangerous.’’

A silence fell throughout the tired gym. Even though Haruya wasn't expecting a punch, he expected a slap in the least. He knew how _cautious_ the Sensei was about the subject. But an aged hand came and calmly stood on his left shoulder instead;

‘’- You’re saying it’s nothing dangerous. But have you ever asked those _brothers of yours_ ; _how many orphans they’ve used in their dirty jobs then buried them in desolate fields, Haruya?_ ‘’ At that point, Mizuki knew Haruya was crying, and there was no way he didn’t know he was being used just the way Sensei described just now.

But just as he said, he made no sound as Sensei took him in his arms and said; _‘’- I’ve already lost a child to that world, Haruya. I cannot lose another. ‘’_

_Even though Haruya has been claiming Mizuki didn’t know anything, it was Haruya who didn’t know Sensei has lost his only son in a drug deal between two yakuza groups eleven years ago._

And even though fighting was their _working_ way of conversation, the old Sensei knew true words would come out in the arms of kindness. Haruya hid his face on the Sensei’s shoulder and didn’t let his voice shake as he spoke; ‘’- You don’t know, Sensei.. Something happened two years ago, and I-‘’ He sniffed, knowing he wasn’t making much sense; ‘’- I had to lie..- ‘’ He repeated, then his voice thinned into a whisper;

‘’ – _I can’t take the weight of what I’ve done anymore. Please help me, Sensei._ ‘’

Upon hearing the heartbreaking undertone in his _plea_ ; Mizuki’s fist curled even tighter, and he turned to walk out of the ring. He went to find Kazamoto to ask him about whatever this event from two years ago was about. Because whatever it was; It obviously took _trust_ out of his friends heart, maybe even more.

* * *

He found the wannabe writer/journalist in a bar downtown. After talking to him for couple of hours, he had to leave for his shift in the club. Today he started early, and he was going to leave early. It was eleven in the night when he came back home.

He found Haruya in his room, sitting in darkness with his back leaned to the wall. The darkness was broken only by the blue-white moonlight falling into the room from the small window. Before approaching him, Mizuki went to the kitchen to find some ice. He wrapped the ice in a towel before walking back to the room and standing beside door;

-‘’ I am sorry I hit you. ‘’ He lifted the ice-towel like a white flag symbolising ceasefire; ‘’- I brought you ice. ‘’ Haruya extended a hand and took the ice, but didn't look at him as he spoke, lifting the towel to his left cheek;  
-‘’ That wasn’t very wise, Akabayashi-kun. My fight is in three days. You know I appreciate you opening your house for me but you could've injured me. Yourself too- ‘’ Without moving from the side of the door he’s been standing, Mizuki cut him;  
-‘’ No. You have to understand those are two different things. I am happy to help you, _and I am glad you’re here._ I am apologising for letting my anger get the best of me. ‘’

Letting a sigh out, Haruya slided on the _futon_ adjacent to the wall to open a room for Mizuki to sit. The other followed the silent invitation, sat down, and asked; ‘’- So, are we good? ‘’

There were some bruises on Haruya's legs, just a little higher from his kneecaps. He must’ve hit his own legs; _instead of punching a wall and endangering his hands._ Mizuki would understand that sort of thing.

As an answer, Haruya nodded and took the water bottle next to him. Mizuki spoke as the other was sipping on water; ‘’- Now, I’ve learned what happened in your orphanage two years ago. What was your role in it? ‘’

Haruya closed the bottle’s cap, thinking there was no point in hiding anymore;

‘’- _It was me who found Ayumi-san in her room. You know.. 'the girl'.‘’_ He lifted his eyes to the window and looked at the bright moon; ‘’- It was a night just like this one. I..still can't manage to chase the image away from my eyes..’’ He then dropped his head, hunched a little more as he continued;

‘’- _It was the headmaster’s fault._ Once the incident was heard, the press was on him. They also blamed the government inspectors for not doing their jobs properly- ‘’ He took a deep breath in and traveled his eyes inside the room; ‘’- Two days after the incident, some government officers came to talk to me. _They told me if I changed the testimony I gave to the police, they would assign the headmaster to a different orphanage_. With that, the press was going to forget about the event..‘’

He lowered the towel from the side of his face, and brought his fingers onto his stomach; ‘’- And I did. I couldn’t risk it, _there were still other kids_ , you know?-‘’ Their eyes met, but Haruya quickly escaped his own; ‘’- I told the police Ayumi-san had some psychological problems. _She didn’t._ She was like an older sister to me, she was so kind. ‘’ He then took a shaky breath in, and fell silent.

‘’- _Is this why you have been apologising to walls every night?_ ‘’

Haruya nodded. He brought the ice to his knees and calmed himself down as the minutes passed.

-‘’ You did it to protect the other kids. ‘’ Mizuki quietly said, a cicada started singing outside.  
-‘’ Doesn’t change the nature of the thing I’ve done. ‘’ Was Haruya’s reply.

After a while, he was calmer. He put the ice to the side and sticked his head to the wall, taking a deep breath in and tracing the lines on the ceiling; ‘’- _I am growing up to be a sad man, Akabayashi-kun._ And I don’t want that-‘’ He added, slowly turning his eyes to the other; ‘’- I have grown up. _Now I want to live_. _I hope you understand what I am trying to tell.. ‘’_

Mizuki lowered his eyes and nodded while biting down on his bottom lip. The other brought his fingers onto his knees, examining the bruises on them;

-‘’ That’s what happened. Now, what about you?-‘’ Their eyes connected; ‘’- I saw some beer bottles near your bed two days ago. _Unlike you, I am not one who puts their nose into other people’s business so I didn’t ask anything but_ \- ‘’

As Haruya prepared to go into a long talk about why a boxer shouldn’t drink, Mizuki stopped him; ‘’- Yeah uh.. It was about something stupid, we don’t even need to open that up. ‘’ But the other boxer’s stare didn’t leave him, making Mizuki understand he had no chance but to open up to him, just like Haruya did;

‘’- Okay, right. So this girl saw me in the club, then invited me to her.. _hotel room_. I went, then uh..’’ Seeing the frustration on the other's face, Haruya spoke;

‘’- _It didn’t go up?_ Well it happens in many men's first time, maybe she wasn’t your type. Don’t worry. ‘’ He assured Mizuki, as one’s _male friend_ would.

Mizuki rubbed his eyes; ‘’- _Yeah I wish it was about that_. ‘’ They looked at each other, Mizuki confessed; ‘’- _I don’t think I am interested in girls, Shiki_. ‘’ He then took his head between his legs to avoid seeing the possible disgust on the other’s face. His worry was unnecessary, though;

Haruya lifted his brows and dragged a long _‘oh..’_ as he understood the confession better. After that, he opened his palms and shrugged a little; ‘’- Well, I am surprised, but _It’s not like I’ve never heard of it._ I had two brothers from the the orphanage.. _like that._ They were five years older than me, and left the orphanage together. I still talk to them every now and then. ‘’

Mizuki has been staring at the other from his _'It's not like I've never heard of it'_ ; ‘’- So you’re not disgusted.. by me? ‘’

Haruya replied; ‘’ From their experience, I guess you do have to be careful with other people. But for me, I am indifferent as to whether you like boys or girls-‘’ He put a hand to Mizuki’s shoulder and even gave a little pat on it; ‘’- Just know you’re obnoxious and stupid, and that’s enough. ‘’

On that, Mizuki let a deep breath out. Relieved, he lowered his legs flat onto the floor. His characteristic grin once again settled onto his lips and shone inside his eyes;

-‘’ So.. _Are_ _you?_ -‘’  
-‘’ I don’t know. ‘’ Haruya foresaw the question and answered; ‘’- I’ve never thought about it. ‘’

_‘’_ _But- ‘’_ He turned his sharp cheekbones to Mizuki, and drew closer to him; Knowing he was making the other’s heart skip two-three beats all at once.

Their lips touched.

Once the night embraced it's fluidity back, Haruya opened his eyes and talked to the other’s lips; ‘’- _A new life, huh_..’’

He then fixed his eyes to Mizuki’s and saw thin, light shades of green hiding inside the dark brown orbs;

‘’- _That_ , was my first kiss, Mizuki-kun. You better support me well at the ringside. ‘’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simen Mitlid's song ' Football' (ironically) gave me the inspiration to start writing this chapter :3 I feel like.. writing-wise this chapter could definitely be better, but other than that, I think everything turned out pretty okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Is there any boxing lover in the drr fandom?


End file.
